He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion. —Author unknown.
INTRODUCTION:
THE PUPPY PARENTING JOURNEY: What a Great Responsibility!
Your sweet cuddle bug arrives, fills your home with laughter, wonder, and love, and everyone seems happy. As time passes, the wonder gives way to frustration as you discover your cuddle bug pulls at the leash, digs holes in your yard, steals food off your table, and even has developed a tendency to nip! Frantically, you search for that "puppy parent owner's manual" and realize—oops—you didn't really prepare for, or anticipate these challenges!
Could these behaviors have been avoided? Rest assured, much of parenting is learned "on the field," and this is why I like to think of it as a journey. In this four-part series, it is my goal to challenge you to reflect upon what this journey might involve, and in doing so to avoid as many parenting mishaps as possible!
THE PUPPY PARENTING JOURNEY is a four-part series which will lay basic foundations for a successful journey. Topics include:
1. How to better prepare yourself for the arrival of your new canine companion. (April)
2. How your role as leader will be foundational for a successful journey. (May)
3. How socialization can help prepare your puppy for life's challenges. (June)
4. How positive reinforcement keeps learning fun for all. (August)
(For the sake of the parenting analogy, I will be using "Puppy Parent," "Doggie Parent," and similar terms in this article. Of course dogs are not truly our children, and we are not truly their parents. Some might prefer to replace those terms with "puppy owner" or "pet owner.")
PART ONE: Preparing yourself for the journey.
Let's be realistic. Who leaves on a journey unprepared? Most of us like to know where we're going—we may read about our chosen destination, check weather, pack appropriately, get out the map and plug in our GPS to make sure we don't get lost along the way. Okay, maybe some of you love the thrill of adventure and taking off unprepared, but when considering adopting a puppy, is it really fair for your new canine companion to embark unprepared?
For me, raising pups is something like parenting. When we become a "doggie parent," an exciting, fun, and rewarding journey begins! Yet this journey holds great responsibility and therefore requires thoughtful preparation. These preparations will lay the foundation for your relationship with your dog, and will largely determine whether it will be a pleasant experience or a hardship to endure. Having a child is certainly not a decision most parents enter into lightly. Unfortunately, the decision to become a new "puppy parent" is not always taken so seriously. Pups, like children, need discipline, training, attention, and of course love, which is usually spelled T-I-M-E. At each stage of their development, we will need to adapt to meet their needs. This is why I like to think of parenting as a Journey, because the learning (for both you and the pup) doesn't end after the child comes home, it's a life-long process that actually begins long before your child arrives. Are you prepared? Are you sure you want to take this journey? Let's consider what might be involved.
Your journey will be unique. Puppies, much like children, are unique. Like a puzzle, various pieces are involved; genetic make up, breed type, and environmental factors, all of which create a unique puppy with its own set of challenges for a parent. To add to the mix, each parent is unique; age, culture, and background all play a role in our style of parenting. Even our preparations will be unique; however there are some basics we can think about when considering to bring home a puppy.
I will touch on four aspects of preparing to own a dog:
1. The importance of choosing the right companion for your journey.
2. Questions you can ask to help you evaluate your readiness.
3. How lack of preparation can lead to parenting and puppy mishaps.
4. Useful tools to help you prepare.![]()
Choosing the right companion for your journey:
How lucky that you can choose your very own companion! In most cases, from eye color and fur color, size, temperament, age, pure breed, mixed breed, stray or rescue, you have a choice. You can prepare for this exciting adventure by researching the different options in order to have some idea which will best suite your life style. With this choice lies great responsibility, for in choosing a dog that's not appropriate for your lifestyle or expectations, you're not offering the best scenario for his needs. Each unique breed type (or rescue) will bring its unique set of challenges. Understanding their needs before they arrive will help you determine if you are the best suited "parent."
Questions you can ask to help you evaluate your readiness: Are you really ready for the "Puppy Parenting Journey"?
The following 13 questions are quoted with permission from the CKCSC web site, www.ckcsc.org. They were written specifically for those searching for a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, but apply to most anyone searching for a dog. It's my hope they will help you determine how ready you are for the challenges of owning a dog.
Are you prepared to:
1. Take full responsibility for this dog and all its needs for the next 10–15 years? This is not a task that can be left to children!
2. Invest the considerable time, money and patience it takes to train the dog to be a good companion? This does not happen by itself.
3. Always keep the dog safe—no running loose, riding in the back of an open pickup truck or being chained or penned outside.
4. Make sure the dog gets enough attention and exercise?
5. Live with shedding for the next 10–15 years?
6. Spend the money it takes to provide proper veterinary care including, but certainly not limited to, puppy vaccinations, heartworm testing and preventative, spaying or neutering, dentistry, and annual checkups?
7. Become educated about the proper care of the breed; correct training methods, and how to groom?
8. Take your questions to the breeder or other appropriate professional before they become problems out of hand?
9. Have the patience to accept (and enjoy) the trials of Cavalier puppyhood and each stage afterwards?
10. Continue to accept responsibility for the dog despite your inevitable life changes such as new babies, children going off to school, moving, or returning to work?
11. Accept responsibility for the dog's inevitable changes due to old age and/or ill health?
12. Resist impulse buying and instead have the patience to make a responsible choice?
13. Install fencing, even if you live outside of an urban area? Cavaliers are notorious for being hit by cars. If you allow a Cavalier to run in any area where a moving vehicle may pass by, there is a huge chance that your Cavalier will be killed. Many are killed by their owners in their own driveway. Cavaliers are perpetual adolescents and require constant vigilance in unsecured and unfamiliar areas.
Once you've decided you're ready for a puppy, you might also like to prepare a list of questions to ask a breeder or organization about your future companion. Be prepared also to answer questions about yourself. Most reputable breeders will want to get to know you before entrusting you with a puppy.
How lack of preparation can lead to parenting and puppy mishaps:
Although dogs have been part of my life since childhood, I would say it was not until I was married and on my own that I truly understood the full responsibility involved in owning a dog. I'm embarrassed to admit the decision to bring home my first puppy didn't involve lots of preparation. The impulse was so strong I can only compare it to my desire for chocolate. You chocolate lovers know what I'm talking about. You've got to have it now! As a result, when faced with an unusual situation, I found myself in a crash course on parenting a challenging "puppy child." I remember the day we picked her up. She was the last pup to be "chosen," appeared fairly shy and was hiding under the table. It broke my heart but I couldn't leave without her. While relishing the joys of puppy antics, cuddles, and wet kisses, I was unaware she had a fearful streak that was about to reveal itself. This turned out to be a huge challenge when she showed a small sign of aggression towards my young son. Discouraged by the ominous road block presenting itself along my blissful parenting journey, I became concerned for our children's safety.
Fortunately, my love motivated me to find a solution. Rather then blaming her, I became proactive, read relevant books on dog behavior, consulted a trainer and discovered that my lack of leadership skill was not helping her overcome her fears nor understand her role in our family "pack." The fault was not hers. Had I been prepared for the unique issues of owing a shy puppy, and understood my role as a leader, this situation might have been avoided. Lesson learned! Fortunately, it wasn't too late. Our family became involved in her reeducation and mostly, I learned skills and reeducated myself to better fill my role as her "puppy parent."
Of course in a perfect world we would all be experts on parenting before having children or adopting dogs, but its unlikely this will come to pass. Even with the best preparation, there will always be surprises (unannounced challenges) along the parenting journey. Be encouraged, for most people, parenting lessons are learned "on the field" and life appears to be the greatest teacher! Keep in mind however, many mistakes can be avoided by simply preparing for our Journey. Maybe you've had a past negative experience raising a puppy and have vowed never to try again. Be encouraged! You can be a wonderful "doggie parent." Remember, "A mistake is never a failure unless you fail to learn from it"-Anderson Miller
So why not learn all you can and prepare in order to offer your new pup positive experiences right from the start. You will place more chances on your side for a rewarding relationship with your new companion!
Tools and ideas for more learning: This article gives only a glimpse of the great responsibility in owning a dog. The following web sites are valuable resources filled with information for those desiring to learn more about being a responsible dog owner. It's truly a life long journey; I'm delighted to learn something new each day!
• Info from AKC about being a responsible dog owner, http://www.akc.org/public_education/responsible_dog_owner.cfm
• Cavalier King Charles Spaniel Club USA book list: http://www.ckcsc.org/ckcsc/booklist.nsf/category?openview&count=100
• Info from CKCSC for those searching for a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppy http://www.ckcsc.org/ckcsc/ckcsc_inc.nsf/Founded-1954/cavsearch.html
• Ask current dog owners for recommendations; Veterinarian, training schools, pet sitters, etc…
• Talk with others who have taken the journey; learn from their positive and even negative experiences.
• Finally, talk with children about dogs and of course, lead by example. Stories are a great tool for reaching our future generation with the message of responsible dog ownership. A Story of a Promising Puppy is one example of a book that passes along the message of responsible dog ownership. Check it out at SunnyVille Publishing.![]()
Last thought: shelters are full of dogs whose owners didn't prepare or take seriously the responsibility of owning a dog. That cute puppy left to its own without training has now grown up and become a nuisance to its family. If these dogs could speak, would this poem possibly reflect their thoughts?
DO I GO HOME TODAY?
(Author Unknown)My family brought me home cradled in their arms.
They cuddled me and smiled at me and said I was full of charm.They played with me and laughed with me and showered me with toys.
I sure do love my family, especially the little girls and boys.The children loved to feed me; they gave me special treats.
They even let me sleep with them—all snuggled in the sheets.I used to go for walks, often several times a day.
They even fought to hold the leash, I'm very proud to say!These are the things I'll not forget—a cherished memory.
I now live in the shelter—without my family.They used to laugh and praise me when I played with that old shoe.
But I didn't know the difference between the old one and the new.The kids and I would grab a rug, for hours we would tug.
So I thought I did the right thing when I chewed the bedroom rug.They said I was out of control and would have to live outside.
This I didn't understand, although I tried and tried!The walks stopped, one by one; they said they hadn't the time.
I wish that I could change things; I wish I knew my crime.My life became so lonely in the backyard on a chain.
I barked and barked all day long to keep from going insane.So they brought me to the shelter, but were embarrassed to say why.
They said I caused an allergy, and then each kissed me goodbye.If I'd only had some training as a little pup,
I wouldn't have been so hard to handle when I was all grown up."You only have one day left," I heard a worker say.
Does that mean I have a second chance? Do I go home today?
PART TWO: Leadership: a foundation for a rewarding human-canine relationship.
As parents, we all hope for well mannered polite children. But we also know this doesn't happen on its own. Children need the leadership and guidance of a caring responsible parent or adult guardian to help them understand what is expected of them. The same is true for our canine companions; they need a responsible "puppy parent"; a leader who can teach them to be a polite, well-mannered member of society!
Strong leadership skills are foundational to a rewarding human-canine relationship. This article will answer three questions:
1. How does leadership differ from dominance?
2. How is leadership defined?
3. What are the qualities of a good leader?
A little background: While it's true we can gain insight about dog behavior based on our knowledge about wolves, we must keep in mind that domestic dog has diverged significantly from wolves in the last 15,000 years. In spite of the differences in the social systems of wolves and domestic dogs, I still observe an understanding of rank order. Dogs need a strong leader in order to feel secure. However, while we may hold a position of "higher rank," it is important to note that leadership differs from dominance.
Dominance is defined as "a relationship between individual animals that is established by force/aggression and submission, to determine who has priority access to multiple resources such as food, preferred resting spots, and mates" (Bernstein 1981; Drews 1993). The American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior (AVSAB) points out that "dominance theory should not be used as a general guide for behavior modification. Instead… behavior modification and training should be focused on reinforcing desirable behaviors, avoiding the reinforcing of undesirable behaviors, and striving to address the underlying emotional state and motivations, including medical and genetic factors, that are driving the undesirable behaviors." In simpler terms, when you are trying to train your dog, focus on positive reinforcement, be careful not to reinforce negative behavior, and keep in mind there may be medical and/or genetic issues involved that might be affecting your dog's behavior.
What is leadership? Leadership is defined as the ability to guide, direct, and influence people to achieve a desired behavior or task. When speaking about dogs, the methods used to guide, influence, and direct are not always agreed upon. While acknowledging differences of opinion on this subject, it is my hope that you will consider the following definition of leadership and seek to learn more about this important concept:
Leadership is the ability to influence your canine companion to willingly perform a desired behavior.
Ten qualities of a good leader (of course there are many more!)
1. First and foremost, a good leader is a Benevolent Leader: Maybe you remember when it was widely taught that in order for your dog submit (and obey), you need to place the dog on its back ("alpha roll"), using force if necessary and maybe even growling in his face. These types of methods are not necessary, and in fact may instill fear and confusion in your dog. In some cases, these methods may even elicit an aggressive response from your dog. Remember,leadership is not the same as dominating a dog; rather it's the ability to influence your pet to willingly perform a desired behavior! There are more humane (and creative) ways to achieve this. Author Patricia McConnell states that being a "leader" is often misunderstood. It doesn't mean you dominate your dog using force; rather, a leader should be kind, caring, and compassionate, and set boundaries without intimidation. This is called benevolent leadership. Puppies, like children, need benevolent guidance in order to grow into well-balanced, mature adults. This is the type of leader I would trust. A dog is often described as "man's best friend." If we truly believe this, why would we treat our "best friend" with anything other than benevolence?
2. A good leader is able to communicate what he expects: When I first moved to France, I spoke French fairly well, but there was one phrase I had not learned. Driving one day, I was stopped by a police officer, who said, "Arrete le contact." Not understanding, I looked at him bewildered and he repeated in a louder voice, "Arrete le contact!" I told him in French I did not understand, but I spoke well enough that he must not have believed me. Again he repeated, this time in an angry loud voice, "Arrete le contact!!" I became frightened, bewildered, and was about to cry when he gave up and motioned me away in complete frustration. That evening my husband explained the officer was asking me to STOP THE ENGINE, a protocol the police take while randomly controlling cars for safety. I will never forget that phrase! I must wonder how dogs feel when they are being yelled at for things they have never been taught and don't understand. To our dogs, we are speaking a different language. As their "puppy parents," it is our responsibility to bridge the communication gap by teaching our dogs the words, sounds, and/or gestures we will use to communicate what we expect. That officer must have thought I was being disobedient, when in fact I had no idea what he was asking of me! I don't believe there are "bad" dogs, only dogs living in a world where they are misunderstood. Be patient! Communication is learned over time through training; voice tone, body language, clear rules, and boundaries, and a stable environment where everyone is speaking the same language to the dog. It's not so much that we are teaching them to speak our language; rather we are learning to speak their language and communicate in a way they can understand. This quote illustrates my point: In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly dog. -Edward Hoagland. This is when the doors of communication open wide! It's the magical moment when you look at your dog and see the "lights go on" in his sweet little face! "Finally," you think, "he understands!"
3. A good leader is calm, yet assertive: Let's say you come home and discover that Fido has destroyed your favorite pair of shoes and made potty on your priceless rug! You begin to yell but Fido has already forgotten what he has done and has no idea why you are carrying on like a maniac. Anger and yelling only instill fear in your dog. It would be simpler to find ways to avoid these situations and to try to understand why Fido has behaved like this. Remember, there are no bad dogs.
I remember coming home one day to a yard covered in colorful ribbons. Unsure what I was seeing, I approached only to discover my hard-earned dog show ribbons torn to shreds! Knowing it wasn't their fault, I hid my anger and calmly greeted my dogs in the usual loving fashion. The truth about dog ownership is that it's not all play and fun. There will be times when you will be tempted to get angry and yell at your dog; we all make mistakes. If you do catch your dog in the act, be assertive, however, and let your dog know that a behavior is not acceptable. I use a firm tone while saying "NO," I clap my hands, or shake a plastic bottle that is filled with coins to startle my dog. Determine to be a calm leader, and when things don't go as you had hoped, stay positive and try and try again until you and your dog succeed! One thing that has helped me to remain calm is to laugh more! There is no point getting upset over a puppy mishap. So why not "wag more and bark less," as the saying goes! Just think how much fun my dogs had racing around the yard playing chase with all those ribbons! I bet they thought they were flying kites! Ha ha!
4. A good leader is stable: Imagine one day your dog jumps on the sofa and you say nothing. The next day, he jumps on the sofa and you scold him as if he should know he doesn't belong there. Even worse, what if each member of the family has different rules and commands for the dog. Yikes! I would be slightly confused if I were a dog living in that home! By consistently maintaining the rules you set, you are offering your dog a stable environment in which to learn. It is also beneficial for all the members of the household to get involved in the training process. Before bringing home a new puppy, consider having a family gathering to discuss the "rules of the house" for the new puppy. This way everyone can agree to behave in a consistent manner and not confuse the dog. If mama says no dogs on the bed, then everyone must agree to abide. It is much kinder for the dog to have a stable environment where he clearly understands the rules of the house. By doing this your dog will live a much happier life as a loving and responsive companion.
5. A good leader is sets the rules, and only reinforces the desired behavior: Giving a demanding child what he wants reinforces his behavior. Be careful what you are reinforcing! I have heard this complaint among dog owners: Each time I head for the food bowl my dog barks and won't stop until he has been served his meal. I rush to serve him his food in order to quiet him so that he won't wake up my family in the early morning. By feeding Fido when he barks, you have just taught him that barking gets him his food quickly! Was this what you hoped to achieve? If not, you have just reinforced a negative behavior! A good leader sets clear boundaries and limitations both inside and outside of his home and seeks to reinforce positive behavior on a daily basis. Set your rules, and only reinforce the behaviors that fall in line with what you have set. Be firm, stable and consistent, and most of all, BE PATIENT.
6. A good leader is patient: Children don't become mature adults overnight. Patience is defined as "the ability to endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset, or to persevere calmly when faced with difficulties" (Encarta World Dictionary). Reading this, I am sure most of us can attest to times we have fallen short as "puppy parents," lost our temper, or become impatient with our precious "puppy child." For those of us who have lived with dogs all of our lives, we can probably say we have seen it all; from potty on our favorite rug to chewed shoes, stolen food off our table which took hours to bake, holes in the yard, and much more! Yes, owning dogs can be messy, but it's the best mess you will ever endure! When faced with upsetting situations how do you react? If you fail to show patience, remember, A mistake is never a failure unless you fail to learn from it.—Anderson, Miller I have found that raising a puppy, like raising a child, teaches patience. It's funny—in many ways, while we think we are training our dogs, they are actually training us, teaching us to become better human beings! It will take time for a pup to grow and mature, or for any dog to master a concept (behavior). Be patient and positive, your patience will pay off!
7. A good leader seeks to understand his dog, and adapts his training methods accordingly: Most parents would agree that they adapt their parenting methods to fit their child's personality and needs. Know your dog. Understand his breed specific and age specific needs, and know what makes him "tick" (his likes and dislikes) as well as his background. Was he ever abused? Does he have any emotional or physical issues which might be affecting his behavior? The more you know about your dog the easier it will be for you to adapt to his needs and lead him to success!
8. A good leader sets up his dog for success: A teacher would never walk into a 1st grade classroom, give the students an algebra test, and expect them to pass. Yet this is often what dog owners do. A new puppy, for example, cannot hold its urine for long hours and depending on its age may need to go out as often as every 30 minutes while learning the basics of potty training. Letting your puppy run around the house for hours with no potty break and then yelling at him for making a potty "oops" in the house would be ridiculous and unkind. Be careful to adapt your expectations to his age and maturity level. Set up situations and a learning environment that will build his confidence. For example, if you want a social dog, find opportunities for your dog to meet and greet gentle folks with a happy disposition. Don't make your pup's first encounter with strangers be a group of noisy children who might have no idea how to greet a dog. The chances are your puppy will become frightened and associate all children in the future in a negative way. Granted, a pup can't be sheltered from negative experiences all his life. However, by continually exposing your puppy to positive situations where he can be socialized, learn basic life skills, and good manners, you are building his confidence and giving him the tools needed to face life's challenges with success!
9. A good leader takes time to train his dog: What responsible caring adult would deprive their child from a good education? It would be detrimental to their future and possibly even to society. In the same way, a puppy needs a good education (training) and a good teacher (you) in order to grow into a mature, well-behaved adult. The best part is that YOU get to choose the curriculum, plan the hours (class time and recess), plan the field trips (socialization) and even choose his classmates( puppy kindergarten). It's a huge responsibility! In fact, your dog's success or failure is largely dependent on how much time and energy you invest in their education. If you want your dog to walk beside you, sit when asked, not run out the door in front of you, steal food off your table, or jump on you to greet and so forth, then TRAIN him to understand what you expect. It's been said that if a dog walks in front of you on a walk he thinks HE is the leader. Whether he actually thinks this or not, I am not 100% sure, and would have to take each case on an individual basis. However what is important is to ask yourself, "What is the behavior that YOU expect him to learn?" If you want your dog to walk beside you and you are unable to achieve this on a daily basis, than there is a high probability that your dog is simply confused. He is neither trying to be dominant nor disobedient; he simply has no idea what you expect of him. Seek advice from a trainer if needed. I am always thrilled to learn new skills that will benefit my dogs, or to correct skills that are not beneficial. Training will reinforce your role as leader, and will facilitate your ability to influence your canine companion to willingly do what you expect. In most cases, training classes actually train the owner more than the dog. A good trainer can teach you to better understand your dog, and to communicate effectively the commands used to influence, modify, or correct behavior. Choose the trainer and training classes wisely, preferring a school that uses methods that focus on positive reinforcement. Meet the instructor or attend the class as an observer to see if the environment will be beneficial for your dog. After all, there is noting wrong with parents checking out a school before enrolling their child! Take time to educate your puppy, train, invest in his future, and you and your dog will reap the benefits for years to come!
10. A good leader LOVES his dog: What does this really mean? We ALL love our dogs, right? We may say we love our dogs but do our dogs perceive love in our actions? To love is an action verb, and love needs to be acted out in practical ways which a dog can understand. Pets and cuddles are all good and necessary, but what a dog really wants is a benevolent leader; one he can trust and rely on for all his needs. In fact, all the qualities mentioned above are expressions of love for your dog.
Growing in your leadership skills:
I don't think anyone can attest to being a "perfect" puppy parent. Yet we can all determine to grow and learn in order to make our "puppy parenting" journey fun and rewarding for everyone involved. It's important to acknowledge that we don't have all the answers. There is always more to learn. It is my hope that this article has motivated you to learn more about leadership. In seeking to learn more, consider asking:
• Do I need to rethink some of my beliefs about leadership?
• Am I lacking any of the qualities mentioned above?
• How can I improve in my leadership skills?
• Do I need guidance to learn practical ways to be a good leader?
Don't hesitate to seek advice. Remember, we are all on a "puppy parenting journey" and we can learn from others who have previously walked the path. There are many resources (books and internet) on the topic of leadership but for me, "the proof is in the pudding!" If you are unsure where to turn for guidance; just look around. If you see a dog that displays the qualities you admire, there is a strong chance that his owner/trainer is a good leader and will willingly share advice or recommend an obedience class that has been beneficial for her dog.
Thoughts about the use of aggression/force: While observing dogs interact among each other we may see displays of aggression, and assume this is how we too must interact with our dogs when trying to modify behavior. However, I would like to think the human race has the capacity and creativity to find more humane ways to achieve their goals (i.e. positive reinforcement). Granted, if a dog is running at me, growling or threatening to attack, as a last resort, I would use whatever force needed to protect myself. However, this is not a typical scenario for our day-to-day training and interaction with our beloved pets. Remember, leadership and dominance do differ…
Leadership is the ability to influence your canine companion to willingly perform a desired behavior. Being a good, effective, strong, stable, and benevolent leader is the best way to show your dog that you love him!
One last thought . . . This well loved quote begs me to ask a question: As our dog's leader and companion, do we really want our dogs (man's "best friend") to serve us for scraps? Maybe there is more…
Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe; we are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without doubt the best deal man has ever made. — Roger Caras
PART THREE: Socialization; the process of creating a beautiful garden!
Puppies, a reflection of God's unconditional love, entrusted to us like precious seeds. We water them with praise, patience and love, and watch them grow into full bloom.
Have you ever peered into your dogs eyes and wondered how he got his personality? Soft and tender, outgoing and confident, shy and fearful… Socialization played a large role in how your puppy turned out. Think of socialization as the process of creating a garden. What that garden will look like is dependant on several factors. "According to research by Scott and Fuller, 35% of a dog's ultimate behavioral makeup is genetic and 65% is attributed to management, training, socialization, nutrition, and health care of a puppy" (Hastings and Rouse). This article focuses on how socialization plays a role in the behavioral makeup of a dog's personality, by taking a look at the unique roles breeder and puppy owner play. Many books have been devoted to the topic, and the process can seem complex or confusing. Let's simplify things for a moment by considering four aspects of gardening:
1. The gardener (the breeder)
2. The soil (the critical period)
3. The seeds (your puppy)
4. The caretaker (the new pet owner-topic for the month of July)
What do you think of when you hear the word “socialization”?
A flower or vegetable garden might not be the first image that comes to mind. But for me, it's a beautiful picture for what takes place while your pup develops. Simply put, socialization (done properly) is the process of creating a positive environment where a seed can grow, and then tending to that garden by pulling weeds when needed, fertilizing, watering, and making sure it gets the right amount of sunshine or shade to ensure each flower attains that magical moment when it bursts forth in bloom. The socialization process is a journey that begins in the womb and ideally continues throughout your dog's life!
What exactly is proper socialization?
Socialization is a term commonly used in raising pups. Arliss Paddock defines socialization as "the process of exposing a puppy from early on to as wide a variety of environments, situations, animals, and types of people as can be done safely and without causing trauma to the pup." During this process, the goal for your dog is to learn skills and patterns of behavior that will enable him to function well as an adult dog. The situations you propose will depend on what you think he might be exposed to in his future as a family pet, therapy dog, service dog, hunting dog, show dog, or other.
Most pet owners agree they hope for a happy, outgoing, well-adjusted pup that is able to face life's challenges without being too over whelmed. Yet when pet owners are faced with an unruly, emotionally unstable dog, they are quick to point fingers. The truth is we ALL (breeder and new puppy owner) play a part in our dog's behavioral make up—it's a responsibility not to be taken lightly! However the most critical time of socialization happens before the age of 12 weeks, when the puppy is typically at the breeder home. Let's peek into a breeder's garden and see how the socialization process begins.
The Gardener . . . The breeder: 
While living in France, I had the good fortune to visit Monet's garden. Upon entering, a heavenly aroma greeted me while my eyes feasted on exquisite flowers of all colors, shapes and sizes! Everything appeared so natural, as if it grew without effort. However we all know someone was behind this work of art! Someone who really cared and loved his hobby, the gardener! A breeder is something like a gardener.
Careful thought is given to preparing our garden: preparing the soil, choosing the seeds, fertilizing, watering, and so forth, all in the hopes of creating an exquisite masterpiece.
So you want your own garden? Bringing life into the world is a great responsibility. It's not simply about tossing seeds onto the ground and hoping they grow and turn out right. The socialization process actually begins even before birth. The selection of sire and dam goes a long way to determine what your garden will eventually look like. Life is a gift. Anyone considering breeding is a steward of this gift, these precious seeds entrusted to us by nature (God). What do you want your garden to look like, a mess of weeds or a garden that exudes harmony with flowers that can be distinguished each by name? Although no breeder or garden is perfect, a wise gardener learns all he can before attempting to take on a large gardening project. Keep in mind each breeder is also on a journey of discovery and learning. The key word here is "learning!" Will you take the time to learn what it takes to be a "great" breeder? In her book, Born to Win, Patricia C. Trotter goes into great detail to inspire "breeder hopefuls" to greatness. I highly recommend her book to anyone considering breeding, whether it's one litter or a lifetime hobby. Carefully consider all that is involved, and commit to being the best breeder (gardener) you can be! That includes understanding your role in the socialization process.
Successful gardening is partly due to nature, and partly to nurture.
Although one of my greatest hopes as a breeder is for each puppy to grow into a well-adjusted adult, I am keenly aware that a dog's temperament is the product of both "nature" and "nurture." Even with all the love, time, and energy the gardener invested to create a masterpiece garden, I am pretty sure not every seed planted in Monet's Garden grew to full bloom. That is the mystery and reality of "nature." There will always be certain genetic dispositions that are out of a breeder's control. That said, I believe a conscientious breeder works hard to understand both nature and nurture, striving to enhance the breed, while keeping in mind that ultimately perfection is an illusive dream reserved for Heaven's gates. There is a proverb that says, "We can water, but only God can make things grow."
Gardening takes work! Years ago we bought a home which boasted a large flower garden obviously inspired by Monet's garden. It was exquisite. However, after a year, we realized the garden was growing faster than we could tend to it. Beauty and harmony began to resemble disorder and weeds! I can tell you we spent many weekends working in that garden, so much so there were days I wish it belonged to someone else! As tempting as it sounds to own a garden, gardening takes work; and the bigger the garden the more work involved. It's the same for breeding. Not only do you have to clean constantly, pick up poop religiously, groom regularly, and run to your veterinarian more often than you might like, you may also want to attend dog shows and seminars; not to mention finding time to walk, train, socialize, and simply play or cuddle with your dogs. Oh, did I forget to mention your human family? They have needs, too! There is a wise saying I heard long ago; "If there are too many flowers in the garden, none come to bloom."
Gardening takes time! Do you have the time necessary to properly plan and prepare a garden to produce beautiful flowers, and then to care for each individual flower? Breeding is not only about bringing pups into the world and raising them. It's also about the welfare of the "breeding stock." Remember, socialization is a lifetime process. Are they simply "useful" for breeding, or can we offer them more? Adult dogs and pups cannot grow to their full potential simply by eating the best food and living in the cleanest environment. They also need mental stimulation and conditioning, and opportunities to learn throughout their life. All this takes TIME—it's a full-time hobby! It's not so much about the number of dogs (within reason of course), but about the time you have as a gardener to dedicate to each flower. Don't be quick to judge a breeder's "reputability" based on how many dogs they own or how many litters they have. Visit your potential breeder and see for yourself if their "garden" meets your expectations! (Keep in mind everyone has different expectations.) In your eyes, is it a mess of weeds or does it reflect beauty and harmony? Admittedly, it's not easy to keep harmony 24/7 in a breeder's multi-dog household and have every member of the family (dog and human) happy ALL the time. But it certainly can be our goal!
The Soil . . . A Critical Period for Learning!
We love our vegetable garden! Much time is taken preparing the soil to receive seeds which will hopefully produce the delicious tomatoes, lettuce, and beans we adore. Socializing is the process of intentionally preparing the soil to create the proper environment for your seeds to grow. Similarly, lack of preparation could hinder the growth of your seeds. It is a breeder's responsibility to properly "prepare the soil" by creating a positive environment for her little seedlings (pups) to develop. She does this by exposing the litter to certain experiences during "critical periods" when learning is easier. If this window of opportunity is missed, the "window" will close along with the potential benefits. This reminds me of my tomatoes I didn't pick last year when they were ripe for harvest, only to discover them rotting away in my garden!
For your pup, the journey actually begins long before he reaches your home. This is one reason it is vital to carefully choose a breeder who understand the socialization process. From the moment a pup enters the world, he's like a sponge soaking in important experiences about the world around him. Even in the first few weeks of life-cared for by his dam, snuggling near the warmth of her body, exploring objects, hearing new sounds, playing with his littermates, and being handled each day by his breeder or caretaker-his personality and social skills are being formed. As the weeks go by, it's crucial he receives careful positive exposure to a variety of experiences which he may encounter as an adult. This is all part of the "socialization process." This "critical" or "sensitive" period of socialization (from about 3 weeks to approximately 12-14 weeks of age) only comes once in a dog's life. Studies have shown the experiences a pup encounters during this early "critical" period of his life strongly influence the kind of companion he will become as an adult. According to the American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior (AVSAB), the first 12 weeks of life is "the primary window of opportunity for puppies to adapt to new people, animals, and experiences." It's the most critical part of their life! Shortly after 12 weeks, a pup may enter a stage where he is prone to fear. If a pup has not been properly socialized during the critical window, it will be difficult for him to adapt to new and unfamiliar experiences. Keep in mind if you pick up your puppy around 8 to10 weeks of age, you have become responsible for this very important window of learning! Breeders should be vigilant to make sure their pups do not leave too young, as well as instill in new puppy owners the importance of continuing the socialization process once the puppy leaves their home.
The Seeds . . . Raising our pups
A garden with well-prepared soil would be no use without those magical seeds carefully and thoughtfully placed in the hope they will grow and one day produce our delicious veggies or fragrant flowers! The reality is that not all seeds will have the good fortune to grow in a well thought-out garden in which the soil is carefully prepared, fertilized, and tended with attention and love. Some seeds amazingly grow with the bare minimum, but carry the scars for life (i.e. puppy mill dogs). Unable to face life's challenges, they never really attain their full potential. Some even wilt and die much too young. "Old dogs can learn new trick, but without the benefit of a good start, it really becomes a matter of playing catch up. And, sadly, millions of dogs are destroyed each year by veterinarians and humane societies as a result of inadequate training and socialization from the start." (Hastings and Rouse). Raising pups correctly from the start is necessary to ensure each pup will have the possibility for a happy and fulfilling life.
Gardening techniques. Each breeder has his own strategies to raising well-socialized pups. Here are some essentials….
• Stimulate the senses:
To start with, pups should be handled intentionally daily from birth! Whether it's to weigh them, clean, or cuddle, touch is crucial to their proper development. Also, pups which are raised in a home environment with lots of human contact and exposure to ordinary household noise (vacuum, TV, noisy children, other dogs…) will be better prepared for their future home. As they begin to grow, breeders might move their pups from room to room in order to experience different sounds or a variety of textures and floor surfaces-carpet, tile, wood, and eventually even discover the outdoors (grass, gravel, yes, even snow and rain when old enough).
• Offer new challenges:
Whether you place boxes or tunnels in the playpen or teach your pup to climb stairs, you're offering new challenges to simulate his mind. Puppies are born with curiosity, but we must teach them to learn and what we expect. Last winter's snowstorm offered a unique challenge for my seven-week-old pups I was trying to potty train. The first time I set them out to potty in the snow they looked like little snowmen frozen in place, looking at me as if to say, "Help, get me out of this cold wet mush!" I ignored them, of course; reminding them they are dogs and would not die from being outdoors in the snow for a few minutes. Eventually, they took tiny steps and after a few days of this routine they were romping in the snow and eating ice! By the time they left for their new homes, their new owners bragged that no weather condition fazed them! Hurray for my tough little pups!
• Get out of the house!
After a pup has had basic socialization at home, it's wise to get him out of the house to greet the world! Pups can benefit from exposure to car rides, vet visits, meeting the neighbor, her dog, and children. Often we can be found "hanging out" in PetSmart discovering the toy aisle and meeting all sort of dog breeds and their owners. I read one article that stated a pup should meet 100 people by 12 weeks of age! Wow, not sure I will reach that number, but I get the idea! But you might ask, "What about all those diseases? Shouldn't we wait until they have completed all their puppy shots?" Good question! Because of the risk of disease, it's true that many vets still hold to the idea that puppies should not be exposed to strange dogs before 12 to16 weeks. However the AVSAB states, "Veterinarians specializing in behavior recommend that owners take advantage of every safe opportunity to expose young puppies to the great variety of stimuli that they will experience in their lives. Enrolling in puppy classes prior to three months of age can be an excellent means of improving training, strengthening the human-animal bond, and socializing puppies in an environment where risk of illness can be minimized." If I feel my pups are too young for this exposure, I carry them safely in a small doggie bag or they ride in their comfy pet stroller safe from anyone's reach. These outings don't usually begin for me until the pups are around six weeks. Prior to that, most of their socializing is done at home. I believe in taking baby steps, and patiently observing each pup in a litter in order to adapt the socializing to its specific needs.
• Be intentional; don't assume your pups will socialize on their own:
Every garden needs water, but waiting for the rain to come is not always practical, and your plants might die waiting. Be intentional, water your plants! Seek opportunities to properly socialize your pups. My home no longer hears the pitter-pat of noisy little feet or high-pitched voices of little children. Once they grew up, I didn't think to intentionally search out young children for my pups to meet, and possibly missed a window of opportunity for my dogs to enjoy being around children. Recently, I sought out situations where there are all sorts of children. Rather than waiting for the opportunity to come to me (waiting for the rain), I intentionally sought out to water my little seedlings. My son's soccer games offered me a perfect scenario!
• Socialization achieves two goals:
It minimizes the number of things that might frighten your puppy, and exposes him to the experience of being afraid and then recovering. Most behaviorists agree that this "bounce-back" reaction is one of the most important things to teach a dog between 5 to16 weeks of age. A puppy that is properly exposed to various challenges and allowed to discover new smells, tastes, textures, sights and sounds, as well as all sorts of people, will be less bothered later in life if/when confronted by new or frightening things. Of course he may frighten when first encountering a new experience, but he will quickly learn to "bounce back." In contrast, a puppy that is not exposed to various challenges while growing up is considered to lack socialization, and the results can be devastating.
• Finally, lack of socialization, like weeds in a garden, can be detrimental to your puppy:
I don't like weeds in my garden. Left alone, they will choke the life out of my beautiful flowers! An under-socialized dog can become shy, defensive, or even bite out of fear. Left alone for long periods, dogs might develop separation anxiety or obsessive compulsive disorders. The same is even true for dogs that have constant human companionship. Being overprotective can diminish a pup's ability to gain confidence. Instead, it will encourage anxiety and uncertainty when you are not present. Pups are very intelligent and need to work through challenges in order to gain confidence and learn. It is up to us as their breeder or caretaker to propose opportunities that will properly socialize our pups and help them grow into happy, well-adjusted adults.
There is so much more to learn, but a lot of it is common sense!
Now it's time to meet the gardener!
Let's assume you have come across a well-kept, beautiful garden and with the help and expertise of the gardener, you have finally chosen your beautiful new flower. Carefully holding the flower pot, the gardener (breeder) explains what this flower needs in order to grow and be healthy-the right amount of sunshine, water, fertilizer…Keep in mind a caring breeder has poured his heart, time, and energy into raising this precious little puppy. Now they have passed on the responsibility to you, as their new caretaker, to offer it all it needs to grow, bloom, and bring joy to all those that cross its path! This brings me to the heart of next month's article, YOU, as the pup's new caretaker!
Final thoughts . . .
Gardening is a passion!
As a breeder, I admit there are times I feel I am living in a daycare for children 24/7 with each child begging me for attention! As a wife, mother, and breeder,
I often feel pulled at from every side. Yes, it's work, but as long as it remains a passionate hobby, all the time and attention invested results in fulfillment and joy! The knowledge that maybe (in some small way) I have enhanced the breed, or enriched the lives of a new puppy owner, makes it all worthwhile. Gardening, done correctly, can be a very expensive hobby. Many breeders will tell you it's hard to stay out of the "red" financially while pursuing their "gardening dreams." This is why it is often called a "hobby" and many breeders continue their hobby out of pure passion and love for their breed. The reward for a breeder is often seen in the happy faces of new puppy owners and their dogs, in the progeny produced over time, and the knowledge they have hopefully taken a step forward in the pursuit of enhancing and protecting the breed, and promoting responsible dog ownership. The effort breeders spend in caring for their garden will hopefully reap its rewards for years to come. Be patient! A garden like that depicted in Monet's painting doesn't grow overnight!
PLEASE socialize your pups, don't wait! Pups grow up so fast; don't miss that special window of opportunity! You won't regret all the hard work when one day down the road, you and others feast your eyes on a beautiful garden, one which even Monet might have liked to capture on his canvas!
Socialization is a lifelong journey for both you and your dog. To learn more . . .
I recommend three excellent books which have inspired me over the years. Of course there are many more.
1. The Puppy Primer by Brenda Scidmore & Patricia B. McConnell. In it she says, "Probably the single most important thing you can do to help your puppy grow up to be a friendly, confident, reliable, and happy family member, is to socialize your puppy now."
2. Another Piece of the Puzzle; Puppy Development by Pat Hastings and Erin Rouse. For further reading on understanding a pup's development and the stages he goes through, I recommend this book. Starting with the Pre-Natal Period which begins even before birth, through the Maturity Period (1-4 years), authors Hastings and Rouse help breeders understand each stage of a pup's development and what role they must play to ensure each pup in their care grows into its full potential.
3. Born to Win by Patricia C. Trotter. This book is sure to be an inspiration to anyone interested in pursuing a hobby or career with dogs!
PART FOUR: Positive Reinforcement: Tending to your garden with love
How positive reinforcement keeps learning fun for all
The long awaited day has finally arrived! You've researched, prepared and carefully chosen your new canine companion; an adorable puppy now sits snuggled in your arms. He seems happy and outgoing. "Great!" you think, "He is set for life!" WRONG! Although the breeder played a very important role in beginning the socialization process by carefully preparing the soil and planting the seeds, it's now up to you, as the "caretaker," to tend your garden-water the seeds, fertilize as needed, and offer lots of sunshine—in order for your sweet little flower to grow into full bloom! It's crucial that you continue the socialization process throughout his life, especially the first year. No one plants a flower garden only to stop caring for it while it's growing. Weeds would take over and possibly even disease. Don't stop tending to your garden! This is where training comes into play.
Let me ask, are you having fun along your puppy-parenting journey while your canine companion willingly follows you, or are you struggling, sweating, and dragging him along to get him where you want to go?
Positive reinforcement has as its goal to help inspire your dog to follow you willingly out of love and trust and maybe even have some fun along the way! Simply put, dogs learn that good (pleasant) things happen if they do what you want, so they want to do it again. As your pup's teacher, you are gentle, patient, and kind, showing your dog (by use of pleasant rewards) that it's worth his while to obey. Goodness, no one wants a grumpy ol' teacher who continually points out our faults or punishes. What kind of teacher do you want to be? How can you achieve positive lasting effects in your canine "students"? Two words: positive reinforcement.
My goal is to reflect on how positive reinforcement plays an important role in the ongoing process of socializing and training by answering three questions:
1. How do positive and negative reinforcement differ?
2. What to look for and how to seize the moment for learning?
3. How can you make a difference in the world around you?
How do positive and negative reinforcement differ?
The reinforcement theory states that a behavior that is reinforced will be repeated, while behavior that is not reinforced is not as likely to be repeated. Reinforcement can be positive or negative. Pet owners are actually reinforcing behavior all the time without even knowing it. Did you feed Fido table scraps when he placed his front paws on your dinner table? There's a strong possibility he just learned that begging for food during dinner time is acceptable because his behavior was reinforced with a pleasant reward (food) and he is likely to do it again. This is called positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement uses pleasant rewards (i.e., doggy treats, toys, praise) to increase the frequency of a particular behavior while negative reinforcement uses unpleasant stimulus to achieve a behavior. Keep in mind both can achieve a desired behavior, the difference is one is pleasant to your dog and the other is unpleasant. Distinguishing between what is "positive" and "negative" can be difficult and often leads to arguments. The difficulty lies in our definitions of these words. In our society for example some people feel spanking a child can be "positive" for the child (an act of love); while for others it borders on child abuse. In relation to dogs, some people feel a choke collar (used correctly) can be positive and loving while others feel it's cruel. I do not judge anyone's perspective. Simply, I will share my experience and hope to inspire others to reflect on their own methods and relationships with their pets.
Positive Reinforcement, a way of life!
Puppy owners may cringe at the idea of schooling for life. No worries. I am not speaking about formal obedience classes at high levels and such (although those are wonderful), but I am speaking about a way of interacting with your dog that reinforces good behavior and stimulates your dog's desire to learn and overcome life challenges with as little stress as possible. I don't believe any training method holds all the answers. However I have found that when positive reinforcement becomes a natural part of my daily life and activities with my dogs, the puppy parenting journey becomes all the more pleasant for those involved. It's not really a method in my mind; it's a positive way of life!
What to look for and how to seize the moment for learning?
Four words come to mind…
Observe, Wait, Reward, and Repeat!
1. Observe your dog every moment you can, looking for the behavior you expect.
2. Wait patiently for him to do the behavior you desire.
3. Reward him with something he likes immediately when he does what you want.
4. Repeat it all again until he consistently does what you expect.
OBSERVE
Observe your dog every possible moment, looking for any hint of the behavior you expect. When your puppy is young, this might be very time-consuming, but it's well worth your effort. Potty training is a great example. If you are diligent to observe his signals to relieve himself (i.e. circling, sniffing ground) and reinforce good behavior (potty outside) diligently with something he enjoys, potty training should come along without too much difficulty. If you are not very observant, you will spend most of your time frustrated, cleaning up after his messes in your house, and it will be much harder to potty train effectively. Be diligent and observe often. If you can't watch him closely you might want to keep him in his puppy pen until you have the time to watch him again. A puppy with free rein of the house with everyone busy doing their own thing cannot be correctly monitored and you will most likely not catch his potty signals. How can you reinforce good behavior if you are not watching your puppy? I read somewhere that "puppies" is spelled T-I-M-E . . . how true!
WAIT
"Wait" is one of those unpleasant "four letter words." We live in a fast food, fast-paced society. Who likes to wait for results? Yet training a puppy is a lesson in patience. While waiting, you can set your dog up for success.
For example, you can offer your pup safe places and situations in which to learn, but don't overwhelm him! For instance, while conditioning your dog to enjoy strangers, other dogs, and new places, it is up to you as caretaker to manage each situation to ensure your pup won't be traumatized or overwhelmed. You can even intentionally choose the people or places he will encounter. When meeting children for the first time, for example, you can invite a few calm polite kids over and instruct them how to act with your pup before the meeting happens. You can even ask them to give your puppy a treat to reinforce this encounter as a pleasant experience. It would be wonderful if your pup will leave this "set-up" thinking that children are fun and safe to be around (although sadly this will not always be true in life). Personally, I rarely let any child pet my dog unless I am present, give permission, and explain "how to" pet my puppy. This way I can ensure a positive experience for all. Kids actually love this and ask tons of questions.
It's a great opportunity to promote responsible dog ownership amongst children. Keep in mind that socialization during the critical period (around 5-16 weeks) can have positive or negative effects that last a lifetime. Do your best to manage any negative experiences in a calm manner, removing your puppy from situations in which he seems anxious.
Sometimes while you are waiting for the desired behavior, your dog might do something you don't want. How will you react? Yelling and physical force (examples of negative reinforcement) may work but can be harmful to the trusting relationship you are trying to build with your pet. All children fall while learning to walk. Expect that your puppy will mess up now and then. If he messes up while you're waiting patiently to reinforce a desired behavior, do your best to react with purpose and love. Here is one example: A lady had a pup who loved to chew her rugs. She ended up having to use a little unpleasant stimulus (in love) to end the habit. She would shake a bottle of coins to startle her dog while chewing her rug, and then she would redirect his attention to something else and reward him when he did what she wanted (i.e. chew a doggie bone not the rug). Carefully observe, wait patiently for that magical moment, then jump to give him a reward!
REWARD
Reward your dog with something he likes immediately when he does what you want. A reward is whatever your dog enjoys. I've had to try a variety of treats to find the one that will entice them to do flips. Some dogs won't budge for food, they prefer toys. For others, a quick game of fetch is a pleasant reward. Fortunately most of my dogs love liver treats, so I keep treats in my house, car, pockets, and purse…ready to jump on that magical moment when they do what I want!
Timing is crucial for the reward to have meaning. If you call your dog to come, and he runs to you and sits at your feet and you then pop the treat in his mouth, you have just rewarded him for sitting, not for coming. The reward must be given immediately when the desired behavior is completed. What can be hard is to have the treat (reward) ready at a moment's notice. This is where teaching your dog to associate praise (or the sound of a clicker) with a delicious treat comes in handy. Verbal praise, saying "Good Dog," for example, is easy to use at a moment's notice but means nothing to your dog unless you have taught him to associate it with something pleasant. I take a few minutes each day to help my dogs make this association by throwing treats out and immediately saying my magic word. Eventually they associate that word with feeling good. Now, if they hear the magic word their tails wag a million miles an hour and they stare at me waiting for "something" good. It's pretty neat. (Find out more about making praise meaningful by reading up on Primary vs. Secondary Reinforcement-suggested reading in "Family Friendly Dog Training," by McConnell and Moore)
Just a word of caution; be careful what you reward! For example, your dog is acting shy around other dogs. Each time he displays this behavior you pick him up, cuddle him close, and stroke his fur thinking you are comforting him. You have reinforced his shy behavior (probably unintentionally) by rewarding him with being held and petted. Be aware of your actions and be intentional about what you wish to reinforce.
Repeat
Do it all again until he consistently does what you expect. Be patient. As I said before, exquisite flower gardens did not grow overnight. Repeat, repeat, repeat, and expect that one day the light will go on in his head. That said, it never hurts to reinforce what you expect now and then over the months and years to come, no matter how old your dog is. I believe dogs need a life-long "continuing education course" with you as their primary teacher. Your dog will never get tired of getting pleasant rewards, even if he has done something right a million times! We all need an occasional refresher course and love hearing, "Good job" when we achieve a task. It makes us feel good, and it usually motivates us to do it right again!
An example using Observe, Wait, Reward, Repeat:
Your dog jumps on you at the door each time you enter your home. This bothers you. Rather then kicking him away in anger you cross your arms and turn your back to him. This slightly unpleasant experience will neither cause confusion nor fear in your dog. Rather, it will force him to think and find a solution. Observe and wait . . . The day he no longer jumps to greet you at the door, quickly reach out to reward him with the pleasant attention he so desires (i.e., a treat, petting, verbal praise, or whatever you think he will enjoy). Repeat this each time he greets you at the door. Turn your back if he jumps and reward if he doesn't jump. One day, he will figure out what you want. His motivation is to get the reward (positive reinforcement). A little reality check, however: there are times we observe, wait, reward, and repeat and repeat and repeat, and still no results. There are certain things I have wanted my dogs to learn that I have not fully achieved yet, so they wait on the back burner while I work on other things and rethink my strategy. Remember, it's a learning journey for both you and your pup.
My friend Tracie, who writes on "Wags and Wiggles," describes the actions above (turning your back) as a neutral stimulus, because they are neither pleasant nor unpleasant. I like that term. Most dogs are curious. Given the time and opportunity, they usually figure out what you expect. In my opinion, unpleasant stimulus applied with anger, impatience, frustration, or physical force and taken to extremes becomes truly negative and begins resembles "unjust punishment." The researcher B.F. Skinner held that positive reinforcement is superior to punishment in altering behavior, in that it results in lasting behavioral modification. By contrast, punishment may also change behavior, but it will often be only temporary and may have detrimental side effects.
Do you want to make a difference in the world around you?
Lead by Example!
Not every dog has the good fortune to have an owner that is seeking to be the best puppy parent possible. But your example of responsible dog ownership and the relationship you have with your dog will hopefully inspire others to follow suit. No parent is perfect, mistakes are expected, but as long as we keep moving in the right direction progress will be made. We can't change the world but we can better our own world for our dogs by implementing positive reinforcement into our daily lives. I think it's safe to say most dog owners love their dogs and do not intentionally use punishment by focusing on unpleasant reinforcement to achieve their goals. Those who abuse dogs certainly have deep issues in their own lives, and sadly take it out on innocent animals. But we can lead by example and hope our positive training methods and our happy, well-adjusted dogs draw others to reflect on their own relationships with their pets. Let your garden be so bright and beautiful that the neighbors will look over their fence and desire a garden like yours!
Finally . . . In keeping with the gardening analogy used in Part Three of this series, think of positive reinforcement as the attentive, loving care you give your garden in order to maintain its beauty. As the caretaker of my garden, I have a certain "look" I hope to achieve-a harmonious, vibrant, healthy garden free of weeds. Interestingly, if I am diligent and care for it daily, watering, pruning, turning the dirt, applying fertilizer when needed, I never have to worry about weeds taking over nor applying harmful chemicals to kill the "bad" stuff. An attentive gardener will see a weed before it gets too large and "nip it in the bud," so-to-speak. We just moved into a house where the garden was unkept for several months, and weeds had over taken the flower beds. I can tell you that pulling weeds for days is sweaty, hard work and no fun! Keep seeking opportunities to use positive reinforcement while socializing and training your pet. Behavior modification will no longer be a power struggle or a mystery; rather it will be an exciting fun adventure. The "issues" (weeds) your dog may have in life will be minimal to none and you both will reap lifetime rewards!
Life Lesson . . .
The principles of positive reinforcement had a trickle-down effect into my own family and how I raised my children. Unconsciously, I began keeping a watchful eye on my children's behavior, and intentionally jumped on any occasion to point out and reward behavior I expected (i.e. emptying dishwasher without being asked, taking the dog out without being asked, making their beds, etc.). This built their confidence and self esteem and drew us even closer. Maybe we all can look for opportunities to draw closer to each other and our families by seeking out the good in others, reinforcing it, and leaving the rest for the "Big Guy upstairs."
Happy parenting! It's been a privilege and joy to share with you in this four part series, The Puppy Parenting Journey, What a Great Responsibility!